Resolutions, Goal-Setting, and Making a Difference

It's 2020.

I just can't get over the fact that it is 2020.

Wasn't it just 2008 like 6 months ago? The 90s feels like just a few years ago. 2020 is supposed to be "the future" or something, isn't it?

And yet, here we are.

We had a quiet New Year's Eve celebration last night: just my immediate family. We had fondue for supper, played table games, and listened to 80s hits. We didn't even watch New Year's Rockin' Eve or anything; we just spent time together. It was pretty great, honestly.

During supper, we talked about New Year's Resolutions--I asked everyone if they had any resolutions for 2020. My daughter responded with wisdom she had seen on Instagram: "There are two kinds of people in the world: people who don't make resolutions, and people who break resolutions." I was a little surprised by this cynicism, but I get where she's coming from...people do often break their resolutions, and often soon after they are made. I've been there too, honestly. I shared a few examples of resolutions I made that actually stuck, like the year I resolved to lose 30 pounds (which actually took me about 18 months, but I did it) and the year I resolved to read the whole Bible in a year (which I actually did, using a chronological Bible.) But I get where she is coming from. And, when I'm really honest, these are exceptions for me rather than the rule. I'm likely to not follow through on my so-called resolutions either.

So what if we call them "goals" instead of "resolutions?" I recognize I'm likely to lose momentum on resolutions; what if I set goals for myself for the coming year? I've done this before, and found some success. For the past eight years, I've pedaled at least 1000 miles each year on my bike (1705.7 miles in 2019, for the record.) I did the photo-a-day challenge for four years running, documenting my life with one photo every day. Actually, I was well into year five when Flickr changed their terms of service and derailed that project. I could definitely start that again, just with a different platform. This past year, I started using the 1SE app (1 Second Everyday) to similarly create a video diary with one second of video from each day of the year. I did meet that goal this year...you can watch my 365-second video of 2019 below, if you like.

But biking and taking photos or videos are relatively easily-attainable goals though, aren't they? I mean, they took some time and dedication, for sure...but overall, do these things "matter?" What if I would set goals for things that matter more? I mean, I've had those kinds of goals as well, like "I will finish writing my dissertation this year," or "I will pay off the remaining balance on our car loan this year." I was able to follow through on these goals, and they seem more important than documenting my life in 1-second increments. But what I think made a difference for all of these goals I've achieved is the degree of specificity I used. Even the daunting ones--like finishing my dissertation--were achievable because it was specific.

I'm thinking about this because I often make goals that are really more like wishes. I've been wrestling with goals like, "I will spend more time with my family" (challenging, since I have some workaholic tendencies) or "I will read more" (which is something I used to love, and then I went to grad school, which kind of sucked away my love of reading for pleasure...but it's starting to come back) or "I will write more on the blog" (which I definitely enjoy, but can't ever seem to find time to do, as the tyranny of the urgent means writing often gets pushed to the back burner.) All of these pseudo-goals are more like wishes: things I wish I would do, but don't get specific enough about to actually follow through on them.

And maybe that's where my goal-setting falls short? Like so many New Year's Resolutions?

I hope to set goals that will really make a difference in my life, in my family's life, in the lives of my friends and colleagues and students. To do that, maybe I have to get more specific.

Maybe, instead of just wishing, "I will spend more time with my family," I need to set a goal that, "I will not work in the evenings...more than 2 nights per week." (Trying to be a realist here, of course.)

Maybe instead of just wishing, "I will read more," I need to set a goal along the lines of, "I will read a novel and a work of non-fiction by the end of Spring Break." (Hey, and if I'm not working from home as much...maybe I'll have more time to read?)

Maybe instead of just wishing, "I will write more on the blog," I need to set a goal like, "I will block out one hour a week on my schedule at work for writing." (That seems indulgent, but I think it's important work for me to continue to practice writing, and that's really what the blog is, after all.)

As I'm reflecting on this, I realize that I'm falling prey to the modernist myth that everything has to be quantifiable and measurable. Notice how these things I'm talking about all have some kind of measurable nature to them:

• Losing 30 pounds
• Reading through the Bible
• Taking one photo or video each day
• Only working two nights per week
• Reading a particular number of books
• Clocking writing time

This has me wondering if there is a way for me to meet more meaningful goals without trying to measure them, per se.

For example, I haven't played my guitar as part of the worship team at my church for two years now--I've been busy serving in other ways. But what if that was one of my goals for this year: to start playing in church again? Does that need to be measurable to make a difference? Would I have to set a goal of "at least once a month" for it to be valuable?

Or how about keeping in touch with friends? I have a few very dear friends that I used to keep in touch with primarily via Facebook. Now that I'm on Facebook less...we have sort of fallen out of touch. What if that was one of my goals: to keep better in touch with these friends by texting or calling more regularly? Does that need to be measurable to make a difference? Would I have to set a goal of "at least two texts a week" to keep in touch?

I'm worried that these more important, "making a difference" kind of goals would just become mechanical if I'm measuring them in this way.

But maybe it's about setting habits in a way that will matter? Maybe I need to make some measurable goals to help me set new patterns? 

One of my Twitterfriends, Bill Ferriter (@plugusin), shared this article a week or so ago: 11 Questions to Help You Set Meaningful Goals for the Next Decade. I think it's good reading, and it has me thinking about the kind of goals I can and should set for the coming decade. The three questions in this piece that most resonated with me:

1. "How can I live a life true to myself and my values, and not the life others expect of me?"
2. "What are my superpowers and how will I use them for good?"
3. "Who will I have served?"

Maybe these will be some guiding principles for the goals I set for this year and beyond? Time will tell, I suppose.

Image by Isaac Smith via Unsplash

Blessings to you, dear reader, as we adventure into the new year, the new decade. I hope that your resolutions, or goals, or whatever you want to call them will lead you toward making a difference as well.