Teaching Freshmen

Sometimes I look at the freshmen I teach and think back to what I was like in the fall of 1994...with my mop of California-blonde hair, and wearing flannel everywhere I went, and listening to Dave Matthews, and Hootie & the Blowfish, and Blues Traveler...and I smile.

I smile because I thought I knew so much then, and didn't realize how much more I had to learn. ("Wise in my own eyes," as the writer of Proverbs so often cautions against...)

It's humbling to serve as a professor, because I think of how very much my professors had a hand in shaping how I think, and act, and LIVE today. I wonder sometimes if I'm doing enough in the service of helping them grow into the people God is calling them to become.

But these students? Wow. What a blessing to teach them. They ask such great questions, they (usually) throw themselves into the weird learning tasks I ask them to try, and most of them truly want to learn. And yet, strangely, I sometimes catch glimpses of the freshman I was coming out in them, the kid who thinks he is so wise, but has so much yet to learn. But I know that it's part of their growing and maturing process too, just as it was for me. In those moments, I feel like the work I'm doing is somehow holy, and nothing to be taken lightly. Makes me wonder if my professors maybe felt that way about working with me too.

Maybe I'm just feeling a little nostalgic today, and maybe I'm just feeling the burden of being a little behind on my marking, and maybe I'm just grateful for the opportunity I have to be teaching at my alma mater, helping freshmen discern if becoming a teacher is part of their calling, just as my professors did 20-some years ago, changing my life in the process.

I think I'm going to go put some Collective Soul and grade papers...

I must have listed to this album a hundred
times in my dorm room during freshman year.

"Get To" or "Have To?"

Today I had one of those class periods I think all teachers dream of. Every single thing I planned just worked. Students were engaged, interactive, asking questions, collaborating, and--I don't think this is wishful thinking on my part--even enjoying the work.

At the end of class I walked back to my office doing an internal happy-dance-of-joy thinking, "I get to do this!" As in, "this is my job, but I feel like I am completely fulfilling my calling in this work!"

It's interesting for me to think about this. I'm generally a positive person, and I generally love my work as a teacher. This has been true at almost every point in my career. And, honestly, the times in my professional life where I felt like "I have to..." instead of "I get to!" were usually more about the paperwork, or external mandates, or friction with colleagues, or times I had messed up and had to make things right with a person I had hurt. Those things can definitely suck the joy out, for me at least. But working with students? Seeing them master a new concept, or even struggle their way through to developing that understanding is always a joy for me, and it never gets old.

I view my work as a teacher as a calling. I believe that I am called to serve, and the place I happen to be serving right now is the college classroom, teaching future teachers. I believe I have been equipped for this work, and I am fully using the gifts and talents I have been given. And maybe it's because I'm in this place, professionally, where I feel well-equipped because of my background, experiences, and education to serve faithfully--and even successfully. It's easy to feel "I get to!" in this kind of a setting!

Teachers, how are you feeling? Are you feeling like you "get to" work with your students, to help them grow and develop, to support their learning? Or are you feeling like you "have to?"

What will it take for you to move to "get to?"

Calling: Knowing and Loving

This summer, along with many of my colleagues, I am reading Steven Garber's book Visions of Vocation: Common Grace for the Common Good. I have enjoyed it immensely, but I find I have to read it in small chunks, because there are so many big ideas, and I need to spend some time chewing on them, so to speak.

It is timely that I am reading this book right now, but perhaps not for the reasons you might suspect, given the title of the book. The book is about vocation--calling--but not in the sense that you might normally associate with the word "vocation." Calling is much more than just your job, your employment, your career. A the very beginning of the book, Garber includes a note explaining his belief about meaning of "vocation," and he suggests we should think about this word as "a rich one, having to address the wholeness of life, the range of relationships and responsibilities. Work, yes, but also families, and neighbors, and citizenship, locally and globally--all of this and more is seen as vocation, that to which I am called as a human being, living my life before the face of God" (from "On Vocation," p. 11).

In the chapters I have read so far, Garber draws upon his experiences working in Washington D.C. as an academic and the leader of a think tank, his friendships with people in powerful positions and lowly ones alike--Senators and students, authors and artists--and weaves their stories together in ways that have brought me fresh eyes to the concept of vocation.

The reading so far has me thinking, "Just what am I called to do?" and this is a little unsettling for me, because I feel like I am just getting comfortable in my work as a professor.

But, as I suggested above, I find the reading of this particular book timely at the moment. If you have been following the news in the United States at all in the past weeks, you will undoubtably know that there is an incredible sense of unrest. Political rhetoric is burning. Race relations are tense. There have been so many shootings across this country in the past week alone, and my heart aches. Protestors and police alike are in turmoil. And all of it is playing out in social media in painful, hurtful, nasty ways.

Planting Seeds...Seeing Sprouts

Image by Denise Krebs
[CC BY 2.0]

I have been marking (grading? correcting?) like a madman these past few days.

It's the end of the semester, and I am--as usual--feeling behind the 8-ball.

How does it all pile up like this at the end? It seems to always end up this way. Unit plans, papers, portfolios, final exams...it all has to be reviewed.

I tell myself it won't happen this way again next time...every semester.

And then...

While I am in the thick of marking, a student stops by. She is one of my advisees, and so I've gotten to know her quite well over the past three years. She has recently completed her student teaching, and she is graduating tomorrow. And she stopped in, just to chat.

Marking can wait.

Called to Follow

It's the beginning of the semester and we're thinking about "calling" in Introduction to Education, as in, "Am I called to teach?" This is a big question! I believe that teaching is a calling, and that God equips those called to teach with the gifts needed for the challenges of this vocation.

But I know that I've struggled with this notion of calling, and I can see it in some of my students too. Sometimes I have really struggled with whether I am following God's call. It sure would be nice if He would paint His message to me in blazing letters across the sky! Or at the very least, send a direct message to me in a way that I can't possibly miss...

Image by garryknight [CC BY 2.0]

Overwhelmed

There are moments when I feel that my vocation as an educator is way, way too big for me. There are moments where I feel so ineffectual and small that I don't have what it takes. There are moments that the classroom feels oppressive and the students feel strange and distant and the marking feels insurmountable and I feel inadequate.

There are moments when I am overwhelmed.

But, thanks be to God, it isn't all about me.

"That Was Easy!"

"Teaching is not for the faint of heart."

I think I said this at least half a dozen times this past semester to my freshmen in EDUC 101. We spent significant time looking at the challenges of teaching: the requirements for licensure, our culture's view of the teaching profession, the curricular demands, the challenges presented by working with a diverse student population, the difficulties of consistently applying a faith-informed philosophy of education. Teaching is not for the faint of heart.

On their final exam for Intro to Education, I asked the following question: "Are you still planning on being a teacher? Why or why not?" (To be fair I should note that this was really just for the interest of our department, and they couldn't get it wrong, per se.) Very interesting to read their responses to this. Most indicated that in spite of the challenges and potential downsides, they still feel called to teach. Others were less optimistic, but still sticking with a major in Education...for now. Several who came to the conclusion throughout the semester that teaching might not be for them even quoted my line above.

Teaching is hard work. Teaching isn't for everyone.

I've been in this profession for almost 15 years. I can admit it: there was a time when I thought teaching wasn't for me either.

Calling

I'm talking with my students in ED101 about our motivations to want to become teachers. The class is mostly freshmen, and many of them are taking the course because they think they want to be teachers. Some are very honest that they aren't sure if this is their life's calling.

They largely have noble motives for thinking about this vocation. I love to hear their stories--the great teachers who have inspired them, the people who have pointed out their gifts and talents and encouraged them to think about teaching, their personal drive to make a difference in the lives of kids. One student was even very bluntly honest: "I think having summers off will be pretty great." Love that authenticity.

We spent some time in class today talking about calling, as in, "Am I called to teach?" This is a challenging question for them. Some feel a very clear calling from the Lord that this is His will for their lives. Other feel a lot more tentative--that they are open to it, but not sure if this is really for them. Still others aren't quite sure what to do with their life, and since they've spent so many years in school already...maybe teaching is the right place for them?

We talked about specific calling: "I believe God has a specific plan for my life, and that involves me becoming a 4th grade teacher." I know people who feel this level of specificity in God's call in their life. I really wish for that kind of clarity, even though it seems a little scary, because I don't always feel like God's will is made that plainly clear in my life. I'm the sort who would really like neon letters in the sky and a booming voice from the heavens. (Actually, that might be kind of scary in a different way!)

We went on to talk about calling in a much more general sense. I shared with them a famous quote from Frederick Beuchner:

“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” 

I've read this quote so many times and heard it in so many contexts, it is almost becoming a cliché to me. 

But I also believe it is true.

And I also believe it is helpful for discerning God's will for our lives. A former pastor, in a sermon about discerning God's will put it this way:

Jesus says, "Follow me!"

I say, "Lord, I'll follow you! Make the path plain for me though, okay? Then I can see where we're headed, so I can really follow you."

And Jesus says, "Follow me!"

And I say, "Lord, I'm happy to follow you, and I will...but can't you just give me the basic outline of the path first so I know where you're leading?"

And Jesus says, "Follow me!"

And I say, "All right, Lord...I'm with you, but here's the thing...I could go this way, or I could go that way. I could choose this thing that seems good, or I could choose that thing which seems equally good...and it would really help clear things up for me if you would just tell me if it should be 'this' or 'that.' Then I'll know I'm following you, okay, Lord?"

And Jesus says, "Follow me!"

And I say, "Okay, Lord, c'mon...can't you just tell me which one I should choose? I would feel so much more clarity if you would just tell me I should do 'this.' Or should I do 'that?' How do I choose? I just don't know which one is your plan for me. Help me out here, Lord! I want to follow you!"

And Jesus says, "So choose! Do 'this,' or do 'that.' But follow me!"

This gets at the heart of the issue of calling for me. I'm often so wrapped up in trying to discern God's specific plan for my life that I fail to remember His BIG plan for my life: that I follow Him. I had a bit of this when I was considering whether to keep teaching at an elementary school or if I should move into teaching at the college level. "Should I do 'this,' Lord? Or should I do 'that?' Will you make your will clear for me?" 

And perhaps God's real answer was, "Dave, I've given you gifts to teach. Are you going to teach in the elementary school? Great! Follow me! Teach those kids to the best of your ability. Are you going to teach at the college? Fantastic! Follow me! Teach them to be great teachers."

Much as I'd love to have a very specific plan spelled out for my life, I'm learning to rest in God's broader plan for my life.

There is a world of need out there, and God is calling me to be active in it.

I am called to be a faithful servant wherever I am. 

I am called to faithfully use my gifts, whether for 'this' or for 'that.'

I am called to love God above all and my neighbor as myself.

I am called to follow.