Thanksgiving Struggles

If you spend much time at all online, I'm confident you've seen the sentiment being shared about all of the awfulness of 2020. It's a fair complaint, I think. This year has been rough for many people in many ways. 

For me too, really. The year 2020 has been a tough one overall. 

Our family did not face the sort of economic pressures that many did, as our jobs are secure and we were often able to work from home as needed. But we have also been very aware of how we are spending money and wanting to be stewardly and frugal in a just-in-case sort of way. I recognize the privilege of this position, even as I write this. But it's still something I think about, and an added pressure.

Pandemic teaching has stretched me far out of my comfort zone; I think this has been my most difficult year of teaching (so far) since my first year. The spring emergency distance teaching adventure was stressful. This fall's revolving door of students in and out of quarantine has been stressful, not to mention dual-mode teaching with most of my students as "roomies" in our face-to-face class meeting and a handful of "zoomies" joining in via web conference. The emotional labor of teaching has never felt more palpable and demanding.

Likewise, our church has been in a very difficult spot with our pastor abruptly resigning this spring. I've been serving as an elder, so this has been an extra burden of congregational care for me. The challenges of dealing with pandemic decision-making related to how and when we should meet, which ministries we should try to continue in the short term, and how to keep encouraging faithful worship and discipleship have been taxing.

And then the political drama of 2020: ooof! With all the political polarization in the U.S. this year--and all of the related ridiculousness on social media--several formerly-close personal relationships have been strained, with some of them perhaps irretrievably damaged. (Time will tell, I guess?) More than this, the social distancing of pandemic quarantining has left me feeling more socially-isolated than normal in spite of spending even more time online than normal. And while I have a pretty strong introverted streak, this has left me craving more normal social interaction. I miss being able to go out regularly and easily. But I'm willing to make the sacrifices for communal good, and trying to protect the most vulnerable folks in our community as much as possible. That said...I will be happy to be done with masks!

And...having COVID-19 was no picnic either! Overall, I can't complain too much--my case was pretty mild, all things considered. But even though I've been over it for several weeks now, I still find myself tiring out easily. And I worry about the long-term effects that we don't yet know. How concerned should I be about a lingering cough, and a little tiredness?

All together, this has added up to an emotionally exhausting year. And we aren't even to the end of it yet!

This week was Thanksgiving. Honestly, I wasn't feeling very thankful coming into the week. It was a crazy busy week for me with preparing for completing our academic semester (after a short Thanksgiving break) online. I had a lot of extra meetings with students and colleagues on Monday-Wednesday. And along with this, my wife and I were preparing to lead worship at our church's Thanksgiving Eve evening service on Wednesday.

And that's where things came together for me. In our Thanksgiving Eve service, our guest pastor (Ben Wiersma, who is a gem) preached on 1 Chronicles 29:10-20. This passage is mostly a prayer of King David, in response to the generosity of the gifts people had given to build the Temple. But it's significant that David's prayer is mostly a prayer of praise and thanksgiving to God and not about the things the people had, but about who God is. This really hit me...because so often Thanksgiving is about saying "thanks" for stuff. 

The song of response we sang was "Goodness of God" and it just hit me: this song might be my theme song for 2020. It helped me reframe (again!) that it's not about me. The chorus of this song goes like this:

And all my life You have been faithful 

And all my life You have been so, so good 

With every breath that I am able 

Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

If you aren't familiar with the song, here's a recording by one of the Dordt worship teams from this past spring--this video was used at our livestreamed commencement ceremony earlier this year:

The combination of this message from Ben and this song has been such a great reset for me...and it's helping me get over myself a little bit. The song keeps running through my head, and I keep coming back to the message of who God is as something for which I can (and should) give thanks. 

Is this a panacea that has suddenly snapped me out of my 2020 funk? Nope. But it's helping me reframe, and find that there are many things I am actually thankful for.

I love my wife and kids, and while it was stressful for all of us to be together so much throughout the spring and summer, we had a lot of great times to make memories. I'm grateful that we largely grew closer together through this experience.

I love my work, and I am so, so grateful for the team of educators I get to teach alongside. Not to mention the incredible future teachers I have the opportunity to serve!

I love my church, and while it has been a rough year, I'm grateful to walk with these people, even through the hard times.

I love my extended family and friends, and I am truly grateful that we've been able to keep in touch via technology, even when we can't always meet up.

I love that my health has been good enough that I met my goal of biking 2000 miles this year. In fact, I've pedaled 2020 miles for 2020--and I'm grateful that my body is functioning well overall.

It has been easy for me to lose sight of things that are actually important and the places where I can--and should--be giving thanks. There have been struggles, real struggles this year. But I am also thankful in spite of the struggles. 

God has been good to me; His goodness is running after me.

Take My World Apart

I've been playing my guitar a lot more regularly at home lately. I'm not 100% sure what that's about. Often I gravitate toward playing when I'm feeling sad, or upset, or having other big feelings that I don't really want to talk about, and instead they come out through the strings of my guitar. Tonight I wasn't really feeling any big feelings, but I still headed to the basement and pulled out my guitar for a while to make some music. 

I know my limitations as a musician. I can play fine enough--particularly if I have the chords for a song--I can play pretty much anything, but it won't necessarily sound like it does on the radio. I mostly make a joyful noise, if you know what I mean.

I got my first guitar as a high schooler. I was 16, and I took lessons for a few months. I learned enough to get started, but I didn't exactly take to it immediately. But my guitar came with me to college, and I think that's where I really started to learn for real. I still have some chord sheets that I printed off from the On-Line Guitar Archive in the mid 1990s. (Ah, OLGA...I remember you when...) Maybe you can picture me with a mop of blonde hair (with a center part, because, you know, the mid 90s) and wearing flannel and jeans with holes in the knees, strumming away on my acoustic guitar in my apartment? I can admit now that I harbored some secret dream of being part of an acoustic alternative rock group--it was the age of MTV unplugged and all that, after all! But that's a late-adolescent imagination, I suppose.

Still, it's funny how the songs I played then are the ones I still know by heart. "Time" by Hootie and the Blowfish. "Run Around" by Blues Traveler. "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Deep Blue Something. "One Headlight" by The Wallflowers. "Untitled" by Collective Soul. "Walk on the Ocean" by Toad the Wet Sprocket. "All for You" by Sister Hazel. "The Freshman" by the Verve Pipe. "Lightning Crashes" by Live. (Oh, so many songs...) Some of these bands you might know...others probably not. But they left a mark on me, and they are still part of me.

And, of course, my favorite band of all from that era, Jars of Clay. Jars was my go-to Christian band for...well, honestly, for the past 25 years. As my taste in music has changed and expanded over the years, this is one band that stuck: I'm a forever-fan of these guys, and the way they take their faith so seriously, and the way it informs their musicianship. Their self-titled first album...I must have listened to that one a hundred times during the 1995-96 school year. And, here I am 25 years later... and I can still play many of those songs off the top of my head--by heart.

But it's interesting how we talk about "knowing songs by heart," isn't it? Somehow, these songs that I played so often in my apartment got deep inside of me, into...my heart?

And tonight, that's where I was, in the basement, strumming and singing. Like it was the spring of 1996...I was playing one of my very favorite Jars songs, "Worlds Apart." If you're not familiar with the song, I'd welcome you to take a listen:

I love these lyrics. I love the music of this one. The poetry of this song speaks to me.

And in this contemporary moment, where everyone--me too!--seems outraged about everything, maybe this is the prayer that I need to be praying again. (Maybe you too?)

I am the only one to blame for this 
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus
I collide

With a world I try so hard

To leave behind

To rid myself of all but love

To give and die

...

To love you, take my world apart
To need you, I am on my knees
To love you, take my world apart
To need you, broken on my knees 

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst the remains of life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me? 
All I am for all you are
Because what I need
And what I believe
Are worlds apart
And I pray 

To love you, take my world apart
To need you, I am on my knees 

To love you, take my world apart

To need you, broken on my knees 

...

Not out of any self-righteousness here...but I needed to sing this song tonight. I needed to pray these words tonight. I need to get over myself. I need to stop thinking so highly of myself, and my opinions, and my self-assumed rightness, as if I can look down my nose at people who think differently than I do, judging them as wrong, because I must be right.

Right now, I'm feeling that I need to humble myself a little bit. Try to be a little more like Jesus. Stop trying so hard to build my own kingdom, and care more about building His. 

Take my world apart.

Certainly this is not scripture...its poetry, music. 

Take my world apart. 

But I think this song captures the gospel.

Take my world apart.

Help me to care more about loving You, loving my neighbors, loving my fellow humans who are created in Your image, loving this world you have made.

Take my world apart, Jesus. 

And let me step more and more into Your world, Your kingdom, Your way of being.

Classroom Atmosphere: Music Matters

Any of you educators out there play music before class? This has become a norm for me since teaching in higher ed; I always put something on at the beginning of class. In my former life as a middle school teacher I used to play music in class from time to time, but this is different. This is just about creating a particular classroom atmosphere.

Sometimes it's music connected to the lesson for the day. In my World Regional Geography class, I often use radiooooo.com to play music from the region we are considering. In my science methods class, I often put on Here Comes Science by They Might Be Giants. Occasionally, I'll choose a particular song that connects strongly to the lesson for the day, such as when I play "Cool Kids" by Echosmith to introduce a lesson on social and emotional learning in my middle school curriculum and instruction course. Or it might be a commentary on the fact that many students submitted an assignment late at night by playing "Who Needs Sleep?" by Barenaked Ladies. (They don't always appreciate that sort of humor...)

Often, it's just music that I happen to enjoy, or something new that I encountered recently. My students are quick to learn that I have eclectic taste; one day might be pop/folk/hiphop from Judah and the Lion, the next class meeting is ambient rock from Explosions in the Sky or Balmorhea, and the next time they come to class it could be Rend Collective, or Paper Route, or Josh Garrels, or Modest Mussorgsky, or Jars of Clay's old stuff from the 90s, or Adam Young's scores project. Or it might just be my feel-good Spotify playlist that I call "Just for Fun" that has a weird combination of Blue Swede, DNCE, Bobby McFerrin, Sonny & Cher, Kelly Clarkson, Pharrell Williams, the BeeGees, Katy Perry, and more. (Can't miss with that one--something in there that will get your body moving a bit no matter your decade or genre preference.) It's a running joke for some students that I listen to music that they don't listen to...because I'm so hipster. (Note: sarcasm here.)

Image via Pixabay

Why do this?

I'd like to say it's about setting an atmosphere that is warm and welcoming, and I think this is the truth. I like the music, sure. But I think there is something nice about coming into a room that isn't awkwardly quiet with everyone looking at their phones. Students seem more likely to have conversations with each other when the music is just loud enough to provide a background level of noise so it doesn't seem like everyone is listening to them. It means I try to intentionally get to class early enough to put the music on while students are just coming in, and that also encourages me to take a few minutes to connect with the students individually as their classmates are coming in. And having a soundtrack for our beginning of class time loosens me up, and gives me freedom to share a bit about myself, my tastes, my interests...maybe it's a way to show that I'm a real person.

I'm sure some students think it's kind of weird. Some are probably ambivalent about it. But the fact that students regularly--positively--mention the music on end-of-term course feedback makes me think there is something here. It's just something I'm trying to do intentionally to create a classroom atmosphere that reflects my personality, and is inviting for the students as they come in.

What do you think? Crazy? Or is there something to this approach for setting an atmosphere?

Pausing to Worship

One of the things that I love about teaching at Dordt is that we deliberately pause, right in the middle of our week, to spend time together in worship.

Chapel is not mandatory. No one compels students to attend. And yet, most weeks 600-800 people (or more) gather at 11:00 a.m. to spend time together in song, in the Word, in reflection, in worship. No classes are scheduled for this time. All the offices on campus close. The Library closes. And so we gather.

Our institution is not a church, and we do not seek to replicate churchiness, really. Chapel is not intended to be a church service either. But, as members of the Church, Christ's Body here on earth, students, faculty, staff, and even friends from off campus come together to focus on the Author and Perfecter of our faith in a communal-yet-personal way.

It's Advent season as I write this, the season of the liturgical year when we consider the lead up to Christ's first coming, and experience the longing for Christ's second coming. It's an appropriate time for reflection on just who Jesus is. Today's chapel time was an excellent example of this, and perhaps best exemplified through one of the songs that was part of the worship time today: "Is He Worthy?" by Andrew Peterson. The worship team was joined by members of the chamber orchestra and the choir to lead us into God's presence today as they played and sang this song.

If you're unfamiliar with the song, or with Peterson's music in general, I urge you to take five minutes to listen to it, to reflect, and--I hope--to worship.

True confessions: this is one of my favorite songs anyway (the whole album Resurrection Songs is fantastic, in my humble opinion) but hearing it played and sung live today got me all choked up, and literally brought tears to my eyes. And I've continued humming it throughout the rest of my day ever since chapel.

And that's the gift that chapel at Dordt is to me: the opportunity to pause to worship, to refocus, to get re-centered in the midst of the busyness of a work week, and to carry that on throughout my day. Pausing to worship shapes the rest of my work as well.

Thoughts on Seriousness

I had the opportunity to see Rend Collective in concert last night. I love this group! After the show my daughter said something like, "It's like we went to a concert and it turned into church, but in the best way." She's right about that--these folks are out to worship, and invite those gathered for the show to shift from "watchers" into "participants." You can't hardly help yourself when you see their infectious joy and celebration!

I don't know what my favorite part of the evening was. We talked about it on our drive home. Here are a few things I love about this group:

American Division?

Are you familiar with the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon? You've probably experienced it, even if you don't recognize this name. It's that feeling that happens when you encounter something new, and then suddenly you start seeing it everywhere. For example, when we got my wife a new car a few years ago, I suddenly started noticing that make and model of vehicle absolutely everywhere we went. Weird, isn't it? (If you want to learn more, go a-googlin' and I'm sure you'll find out plenty about this.)

I bring it up because I had a bit of this feeling just this week. I'm still thinking about how impossibly divided the American public seems to be along political lines. Every time I check my Facebook I see some political posts either decrying our President or defending him. It's bizarre to me how divided things are.

And then, I had two very different media experiences in short succession that have me thinking about the implications, and possible causes for this division in a new light. (And a little Baader-Meinhof feeling, because I encountered these things back to back...)

"Hot Ham!" Or, How Our Words Matter

My daughter, who is now a tween, has begun listening to the radio at her own volition. I knew this day would come.

We listen to a lot of music in our house, and many different genres. She gravitates toward pop music, likely swayed by her friends. She recently asked me to change the radio while we were driving someplace to a station that we do not have on one of our pre-set buttons. Now, this is no problem for me, because I actually have a very eclectic taste in music, and I like to talk with my kids about the kinds of music they listen to, and what they like and dislike.

While we were listening, we heard "Wildest Dreams" by Taylor Swift and "7 Years" by Lukas Graham, and then Mark Ronson & Bruno Mars's "Uptown Funk." Now, if you know any of these three songs, you might perceive that there is some potentially problematic content for a tween in any of them. So far as I can tell, much of it is flying over her head yet, at the moment, but we are going to keep listening to music together and talking about the lyrical content.

What makes this listening session notable for me was something she pointed out about "Uptown Funk." With a slightly embarrassed look, she stopped singing along and admitted that there is a "bad word" in the lyrics.

She's right.

Singing: Sometimes I Really Miss Middle School

This morning I led singing at our local Christian school, the one where I served on the faculty for eleven years before moving to my current position. I have many friends there, and the students--the older ones, at least--still know me by name. ("Hi Mr. Mulder! Are you here to sing with our class today??") I have to admit, that feels pretty good.

So as I met up with a class of middle schoolers, I picked out some of my favorites. Some newer songs, some oldies-but-goodies from when I began teaching almost 20 years ago. I included this one, which was always a hit with the middle school crowd:

"Spring up, O well, within my soul!" (Splish, splash!)

The kids sang with gusto. So did I.

When we wrapped up after 30 minutes, they were begging for a few more favorites. I took that to be a good sign. What a blessing to lead young people in worship--and for them to want more!

I love to sing, and music has always had an important role in my life. For those who say junior high boys just won't sing...I have much evidence to the contrary, both from my own experience as a middle schooler and from the years I spent teaching young adolescents. I'm convinced that your approach, and the songs you choose, and your willingness to build a relationship with the kids make all the difference. Evidence today: the kids sang.

It's been three school years now since I taught at that school, and it's still a little weird for me when I'm there. I thought it would be better by now. But I suppose that when you pour out your heart and soul for over a decade into a place that you care deeply about, it's bound to leave a mark.

I love what I do now, teaching future teachers. But sometimes, I really miss meeting up with middle schoolers on a day-to-day basis. I miss the chance to teach them, heart, soul, mind, and strength.

And today, with the singing...I'm missing middle school.

Yellow Submarine Moments: Stop Worrying So Much About What Other People Think

I recently introduced my kiddos to the Beatles. I am a little ashamed that it took me this long.

I had their compilation album 1 on in the car the other day, and my daughter asked me what band this was.

[OH. MY. I haven't introduced them to the Beatles? I am neglecting my duty as a parent to make sure my kids know good music, and a little history of rock and roll!]

So we listened...

"Love Me Do" ("Is this a love song? It's weird...")

"She Loves You" ("Another love song?")

"I Want to Hold Your Hand" ("These guys sing a lot of love songs, don't they?")

"Help!" ("I like this one, Dad!")

"Yesterday" ("He sounds kind of sad.")

"Day Tripper" ("That is my favorite guitar part ever!")

And then...

What's In Your Desk Drawer? Day 16

Is that a banana chip?

This well-worn guitar pick is in my desk drawer amidst a tangle of paperclips and rubber bands. I know I've had this one for quite a while because the point is rounded and the printing is completely worn off. I must have used this one quite a lot.

I started playing the guitar at age 16. I can play all right...but I'm no rockstar. I can play almost anything that I have chords for, but I'm just strumming along, you know? I'm not the lead guitar in the band, if you will.

Calm My Soul

<Okay.>

<Okay.>

<I got this.>

<Yep.>

<Okay.>

<Really, I got this.>

<I can do this...>

<Maybe.>

<Umm...>

<I am struggling...>

<Nope!>

<I don't got this!>

<Aaaaaaaaargh!>

I had this thought progression several times this week. Not sure exactly why. Just felt overwhelmed several times, by different things.

I've spent this afternoon striving at getting caught up with my homework. I also have a couple of batches of papers in need of marking for a couple of classes. And my inbox is filling up, and I can't seem to ever get it emptied--just more things keep pouring in. And I'm still not done with my homework.

My soul is restless.

Maybe you can relate?

I've had music on in the background as I've been working today, and I just put this one on repeat. It's by one of my favorite bands, Paper Route. It captures my anxiety and lets me give it voice somehow and helps me feel better too, all at the same time.

If you're feeling stressed and burdened, maybe the cry of faith in this song is part of what you are in need of too.

"Calm My Soul" by Paper Route

Kingdom Building

Hanging on my bulletin board, directly above my desk so it is staring me in the face, I have this sheet of paper tacked up:

It is the chord sheet for Rend Collective Experiment's song "Build Your Kingdom Here." This song is getting a lot of airplay on our local Christian radio station, and I have to confess, I love it. I printed out the chords so I could work on learning it myself.

If you haven't heard the song yourself, you should give it a listen.

Backwards Is Better

Mutemath is one of my favorite bands. These guys are quirky showmen, but they have a ton of heart behind their music. The videos they have released for some of their songs illustrate their odd sense of humor. I think this video for their song "Typical" (released back in 2007) might be the best example I can provide. It's worth the four minutes to watch:

Royalty-free Music for School Projects

I've been thinking quite a lot this spring about how to teach students (and teachers!) copyright law as it applies to school. I'm concerned that many teachers don't know enough about copyright and how to model good practices for how to use materials and media appropriately. I've written before about finding good graphic resources that teachers and students can use for projects, but how about other media resources?

Thanks to my Twitterfriend, Sean Junkins (@sjunkins) for sharing this great resource for royalty-free music for school projects.

Royalty Free Music by Incompetech is provided by Kevin MacLeod, a musician who shares music he has written for free on his website. If you read through the FAQ on the page, he explains his philosophy for this sharing. He recognizes the need for high quality media--such as these songs--for students to use, but many schools simply don't have the resources to afford the high costs of licensing music properly according to copyright law. Since the costs for him are very low, he is willing to share this fantastic resource under a Creative Commons license--basically giving away the music for free so long as you credit him as the source. Pretty fantastic, isn't it? (Thanks, Kevin!)

Christian Education: Simple Truth

I.

18 years ago I was a freshman in college and my roommate introduced me to a little-known Canadian band called Hokus Pick Manouver. These guys are Christians, and they don't really pull any punches, but they also don't take themselves too seriously. The have a silly song called "Simple Song" on their album Pick It Up. Here, give it a listen...

For those of us in Christian education, I think this is something we need to think about, and talk about.

How shall we profess the Truth to our students?

Here We Are Now...Hold Us Together

I’ll be the first to admit that my tastes in music are…eclectic. When I’m out for a long bike ride with my iPod, I usually choose a particular playlist or album, but occasionally I’ll just set it on shuffle and see what comes up next. Because of the variety of stuff I have loaded on there, this sometimes leads to jarring juxtapositions, like worship music by Chris Tomlin followed by the silly social commentary of They Might Be Giants, or the rocketing classical piano of Rimsky-Korsakov’s “Flight of the Bumblebee” as a prelude to Guns N’ Roses hair metal ode to hedonism, “Welcome to the Jungle.” (Ah, the 80’s…)

Occasionally, however, one of these odd pairings really causes me to pause. With my iPod on shuffle during a recent bike-hike, I had an interesting one: Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” followed by Matt Maher’s “Hold Us Together.” If you know both of these songs, you probably won’t see an immediate connection, but I’d like to share two stories that link these songs together in my mind, and share a few of my reflections on how they affect my thinking about our work as teachers.

Penguin Sex, and Faith amidst Doubt

I went through a really rough patch in my faith-life a few years ago. We were having all sorts of trouble and in-fighting in our church at the time, and it all weighed on me greatly. I was struggling to see God's plan--absolutely bewildered and frustrated and feeling like nothing was going the way it should have been. I felt a little lost, to be honest. Not far from God, exactly, but unsure of whether He cared what was happening.

As much a crisis of faith as I've ever gone through, I think.

I read a LOT during that time. The Bible, of course, but lots of other books too. I read classics by Oswald Chambers and C.S. Lewis.  I read things from emergent folks like Rob Bell and Brian McLaren. Much of it was affirming and helpful. Some of it was schlocky.

A friend recommended Blue Like Jazz, by Donald Miller. Wow, that was a help--just the sort of encouraging thing I needed. So many questions raised in that book about what faithful Christian living really looks like. I love the subtitle: Nonreligious thoughts on Christian Spirituality. That was what I needed at that time. I needed to rethink my faith walk without using all the usual "Christianese."

I listened to a lot of music at that time too. Relient K's "Getting Into You" was popular for me--I think I hit 200 plays in my iTunes for that song in one year's time. Another with a high play count was a pretty powerful song by Andrew Peterson on the City on a Hill album, The Gathering. The song is entitled "Holy is the Lord" and it basically tells the story of Abraham being asked to sacrifice his beloved son, Isaac, the child of the promise. That song really resonated with me; I felt like I was being asked to sacrifice so much of what I loved and knew and understood about the church during that time.

I was still hurting. I was still confused. And, of course, it was my turn to lead staff devotions at school in the midst of all this heartache.

A Shooting Star is Not a Star

Do you teach an astronomy unit? Curious about meteors? Are you just interested with stuff crashing into Earth? If so, check out this simulation:

It allows you to simulate the impact of a meteor slamming into the 3rd rock from the sun. You can adjust the size of the meteor, its composition, the speed at which it collides with Earth, the angle of impact, and more. Pretty neat interactive site!

And then, you should give this song a listen...

Dry Bones

There are days when I feel completely spent. Dried up. Dead.

I think Ezekiel could identify.

Ezekiel is one of my favorite Old Testament prophets. This guy has a lot going on--he's an exile from Judah, taken forcibly to live in Bablyon. Far from home. Far from the center of his religion's worship in Jerusalem. And that's a big deal, because he was from a priestly family: he was big time in the religious culture around him. And now that's all gone for him; he's miles from home, probably feeling far from God.

And then God gets a hold of him. In chapter 1 of his book he tells the story--the first of many crazy visions--of how God calls him to be a prophet. It's wild: wings, and wheels, and a windstorm, and a sovereign God watching and ruling over it all. What a comfort that must have been for him, given his surroundings!

But...

That didn't mean life was easy for him. He's still living in exile. And being called to be a prophet wasn't exactly a picnic. God called Ezekiel to preach bizarre "sermons"--acting out the siege of Jerusalem with toy war machines and an iron frying pan, shaving all the hair off his body with a sword and scattering then it to the wind, camping out in his front yard for weeks on end. And then, in the midst of all of this going on in his life, his wife dies, and God tells him he can't even grieve her loss.

I can only imagine that he was feeling spent. Dried up. Dead.

The Vision of the Valley of Dry Bones by Gustave Doré
Public Domain, accessed via Wikipedia

And then, in chapter 37, God shows him another vision--one perfect for the way the world celebrates October 31st today...

God takes Ezekiel to a valley full of bones. In my mind, I'm picturing miles and miles of dried up, dead bodies. A mountain of human remains. The Book says these bones were dry--they've been lifeless for a long time.

And God tells Ezekiel to prophesy to the bones, telling them that they will come to life again.

So he does.

And as he's speaking, there's a rattling as the bones come clattering out of the chaotic jumble and join up to form skeletons. Standing on their feet.

And in a scene right out of a horror movie, tendons begin to appear, muscles develop, skin grows in. In my mind I see hollow sockets filling in with glassy eyes, hair sprouting.

But no movement; no life. An army of the dead standing at the ready.

And God tells Ezekiel to call on the Breath of
Life to enter these corpses. And he does, and in comes the Spirit, and the dead are alive again.

What an amazing picture of hope! God has not left His people alone in exile. He is with them. Ezekiel is not alone. God is filling him with the Spirit, even now as he speaks.

Now, I'm no Ezekiel, but this givs me tremendous hope. On the days that I'm feeling dead and dried up, I need to read Ezekiel 37 again. And again. Or at least listen to this song by Gungor. I hope you'll give it a listen--especially if you're feeling spiritually dead today. May you feel brought back to life in the Spirit!

Caffeine Addiction, or "Who Needs Sleep?"

My name is Dave, and I'm addicted to caffeine.

So many teachers are, aren't they? I like coffee. I like coffee a lot. When I was a newbie teacher, I often drank five or six cups a day. You can imagine that by the end of the day, my hands would be twitching. That much caffeine just isn't healthy.

After the first few years I cut back to two cups a day: a cup first thing when I get up (love my coffee-pot timer...) and one more when I get to school. That's usually still my plan these days...usually. There are days where I'll have a third cup in the middle of the afternoon. Some days I just need the pick-me-up.

You too?

I wonder about the phenomenon of teachers and their coffee. Did you have that teacher who was always puffing coffee breath when you asked for help? The one who had a mug that never really got washed out, and so the inside was stained? The one who passed back papers adorned with coffee-cup rings?

A few years ago, there was some discussion of whether we should make our school a caffeine-free zone. Many teachers were opposed, and I was one of the loudest--and probably most obnoxious--voices against this idea. I love my coffee. Don't try to take it away from me...you will regret it.

About a decade ago, I actually tried giving up coffee for Lent one Spring. About two weeks in, a couple of very sweet 7th grade girls came to me with a serious request:

"Mr. Mulder? We know you gave up coffee for Lent. But...would you think about starting to drink it again? You're kind of scary in the morning without your coffee..."

Ouch.

Okay, so I'm an addict. I'll confess it. And I'm not exactly making great strides at avoiding caffeine either. I like having a warm drink in the morning, and one that wakes me up a bit is an added benefit.

I would even say there are days I need the caffeine to get me going. The thing is, I sometimes stay up late marking papers, and I need the go-juice to get me moving in the morning. Other times, I'm troubled by insomnia. This seems to be seasonal, but I do have a hard time falling asleep when I have a lot on my mind. Because I often do have a lot on my mind.

Okay, so the band has an unfortunate name, but there's a great song by my favorite Canadian group, Barenaked Ladies. The song is called "Who Needs Sleep?" and it sums this idea up with their typical, quirky, witty lyrics. The second verse goes:

       My hands are locked up tight in fists
       My mind is racing, filled with lists
       Of things to do and things I've done
       Another sleepless night's begun

Here's one of my favorite recordings of the song, from part of their "Bathroom Sessions" series on YouTube:

I wonder how many teachers might agree with me? Those of us who throw ourselves into our work with such vigor and passion that you think we'd be bone tired by the end of the day (and we usually are...), but we care so much about our teaching practice--or maybe worry so much about our teaching practice?--that sleep eludes us? Maybe we aren't trusting enough that the weight of the world isn't really on our shoulders...that we don't really have to do it all and be perfect in every way. Maybe we're trying to hard to meet other people's expectations.

Hmmmm...

Maybe I need another cup of coffee...